December 19, 2010

Sheldon is not his real name

Voicemail message, 2:24 PM:
“Hi, Jill. This is Sheldon Mugman. I saw your work at Flushing Town Hall and I took one of your business cards. I’ve had a chance to look at your online shop and I really like your work. I wanted to find out if you take custom orders. I’ll be here for the next several hours so please return my call if you can. You can call the number, whatever number that is that showed up on your screen.”

Returning Sheldon’s call, 2:41 PM:
“Hello, Sheldon? This is Jill, the potter of glazedOver Pottery returning your call.”

“Yes! Thanks for calling, Jill. Yes, I saw your work at Flushing Town House [sic] and I really like your work. I was there for a performance and I went into their gift shop. They have a WONDERFUL gift shop, you know! It’s just gorgeous!! Well, and I took one of your business cards, which is also just perfect. I was a graphic artist for years and your business card just communicates so much. It’s really well done, I wanted to tell you that. “

“Well thank you, Sheldon.”

“You’re welcome. So, I was interested in your mugs. I have a mug—my favorite mug—but it’s starting to crack and, OH! I just love it, but now I need a new one. It’s great, it has a thumb spot. I love the thumb spot. I saw your Latte mug and I really like that one. I would want the inside white,  can you make the inside white? I can never see what it is I’m drinking. Is it tea? Coffee? Who knows. I need it to be white.”

“Sure I could make the inside white. That wouldn’t be a problem.”

“And you could keep the outside that latte color?”

“If that’s what you’d want, sure I could. Of course.”

“Ok, great. Is that glossy or matte? I like matte.”

“Well, that partly depends on the conditions inside the kiln during the firing. Sometimes the glazes can come out more or less glossy depending on the temperature the kiln reaches and how quickly it reaches high temperature. That’s the beauty of handmade pottery. Every piece is very much one of a kind.”

“Yes, I understand. I’d really like it to be matte for the latte color and glossy for the white.”

“Ok, I’ll do what I can.”

“And, do you make that curly thing on the bottom of the handle?”

“Yes I do. That’s my signature design.”

“Oh. Ok. My mug doesn’t have that, but…ok. Can you make a thumb spot?”

“I could, but I don’t usually. That’s not part of the Scroll Handle mug design.”

“Oh. Ok. I understand. Now, is the body of your mug straight or curved?”

“It’s straight.”

“Oh. Ok. Mine’s curved, but that’s ok. I understand. How big is your mug?”

“Well, I have three standard sizes: 16-ounces, 23-ounces and 32-ounces. The 32-ounce mug is almost embarrassingly big—"

“No, no. I want a small mug. Can you make a mug smaller than 16-ounces?”

“I could if you’d—”

“Wait, let me get my mug and measure it. I’m just going to go upstairs…[pause]…Oh, where is it?…[pause]…Ah! Here it is. Yeah, um. Let me measure it. Yes, it’s 12-ounces. But yours is 16-ounces. That’s ok. I understand. How tall is your mug?”

“Let me look at the listing in my shop, just a second. It’s 4½" high.”

“Oh. That’s tall. That’s very tall. Let me just measure mine—”

“If you look at the photos that I have online of that mug, there’s one where I’m holding it, so that gives you an idea of how tall it is.”

“Oh, mine’s 4¼". Guess it’s almost as tall as yours. Ok, that’s fine then. Now, the handle would be latte colored?”

“No, well usually I bring the color that is inside the mug out and onto the handle so the handle would only be the latte color on the edges with the white in the middle.”


“Are you near a computer?”

“Yes. I’ve been looking at your latte mug all this time.”

“Ok, let me navigate you to one of my mugs where you can see what I’m talking about…”

[and here I’ll save you the details. You’re busy, I know. The conversation resumes with Sheldon’s reaction to having seen what I meant.]

“Oh NO!! I don’t like that. Can you keep the handle latte colored? I don’t want it white.”

“Sure, if you’d prefer.”

“Yes, do that. How much is the mug?"

“The 16-ounce is $23 plus shipping.”

“Ok. I saw somewhere—I don’t remember where—that you offer a discount if we sign up for your newsletter or email, is that right?”

“Really? You saw that somewhere?”

“Yeah, I don’t remember where, but you give a discount, right?”

“Well, usually I give a 10% discount coupon after a first purchase, but I can apply the discount to this if you’d like.”

“Yes, that would be great. So how do I go about paying you for this? Do you take a down payment?”

“No, I usually require full payment up front. If you have an account on Etsy, I can make you a custom listing there, otherwise  if you give me your email address, I can send you an invoice via PayPal if you’d prefer. Do you have a PayPal account?”

“No, only my children fool around with PayPal. I don’t want to get involved in that nonsense. I just want to use my credit card.”

“You can do that on PayPal without setting up a PayPal account.  I’ll send you an invoice and you’ll just have to follow the PayPal instructions to follow through with payment using your credit card."

“Ok, so it’s $23, minus 10%, plus shipping, right? You’ll send me an email?”

“Yes, I’ll try to get to this tonight.”

“Ok, wonderful! Thank you, Jill. Bye-bye”

“You’re welcome, Sheldon. Thank you. Good-bye.”

Sheldon hangs up 3:04 PM
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